The Office is probably the only show which has a unique sense of satire and at the same time is inspirational. The show has been a huge success and has boosted the career of many of its actors, and each one of them has become a fan favorite. The show has a total of nine seasons of countless laughter and jokes. The show is widely applauded and is critically acclaimed. The sitcom has plenty of moments that are funny and heartfelt at the same time. As we celebrate the show today, here are some of the best, funny, and inspirational Office quotes.
The protagonist, Micheal Scott was one character who truly won the heart of everyone. Even with his complicated and confusing statements, he shows how much he cares for each one of his employees. Micheal’s weird comments would definitely bring a smile to his employee’s faces. He delivered the perfect comedy while being an inspiration. The wholesomeness is the beauty of the show. The legacy of the show continues to live on, and no matter how many times you watch it, it will be as funny as when you saw it the first time.
Contents
Funniest Office Quotes
- Who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of a game is that?
Kelly Kapoor
- Tell your boss what you really think about him and the truth shall set you free.
Patrick Murray
- Abraham Lincoln once said that, ‘If you’re a racist, I will attack you with the North.’ And those are the principles that I carry with me in the workplace.
Michael Scott
- Nothing stresses me out. Except having to seek the approval of my inferiors.
Dwight Schrute
- My future isn’t going to be determined by seven little white lotto balls. It’s going to be determined by two big black balls.
Darryl Philbin
- I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms.
Michael Scott
- I am about to do something very bold in this job that I’ve never done before … try.
Jim Halpert
- I don’t want any special treatment, Pam. I just want you to treat me like you would some family member who’s undergone some sort of serious physical trauma. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
Michael Scott
- I have so much paperwork. I’m afraid my paperwork has paperwork.
Gabrielle Zevin
- You think you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s only some bugger with a torch bringing you more work.
David Brent
- A good boss should have the nature of forgiving but he should not have the nature of revenge.
Dr.Sivakumar Gowder
- It doesn’t matter what your boss thinks as long as he doesn’t cry.
Gerry Geek
- Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year.
Dwight Schrute
- If you think your boss is stupid remember; you wouldn’t have a job if he was smarter.
Albert Grant
- I never thought I’d say this, but I think I ate too much bone marrow.
Dwight Schrute
- This is ‘parkour’, the internet sensation of 2004. It was in one of the Bond films. It’s pretty impressive. The point is to get from point A to point B as creatively as possible, so technically they are doing parkour as long as point A is delusion and point B is the hospital.
Jim Halpert
- How are you not murdered every hour?
Andy Bernard
- I would not miss it for the world. But if something else came up, I would definitely not go.
Michael Scott
- People sitting all day for hours looking at a glowing light are bound to get ran over like a deer in headlights.
Richie Norton
- Did I stutter?
Stanley Hudson
- I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days, before you’ve actually left them.
Andy Bernard
- Most people don’t even know that a candy cane represents a shepherd’s crook. Which I assure you does not taste like peppermint. It tastes like sheep feces.
Dwight Schrute
- I mean, I’m not a slut but who knows.
Kelly Kapoor
- I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.
Michael Scott
- I don’t care what they say about me, I just wanna eat. Which I realize is a lot to ask for. At a dinner party.
Pam Beesly
- I’m not usually the butt of the joke. I’m usually the face of the joke.
Michael Scott
- I’m not a millionaire. I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn’t even close. Then I thought maybe by 40, but by 40 I had less money than I did when I was 30.
Michael Scott
- Every so often, Jim dies of boredom.
Pam Beesly
- Hey Goldenface! Go puck yourself!
Michael Scarn
- R’ is among the most menacing of sounds. That’s why they call it ‘murder’ and not ‘mukduk’
Dwight Schrute
- Ultimatums are key. Basically nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.
Kelly Kapoor
- I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.
Pam Beesly
- I don’t come up with this stuff, I just forward it along. You wouldn’t arrest the guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another.
Michael Scott
- Why are all these people here? There’s too many people on this earth. We need a new plague.
Dwight Schrute
- Well, well, well, how the turntables.
Michael Scott
- Sometimes I get so bored I just want to scream, and then sometimes I actually do scream. I just sort of feel out what the situation calls for.
Kelly Kapoor
- Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.
Michael Scott
- The eyes are the groin of the face.
Dwight Schrute
- If you don’t feel drowsy after lunch and don’t yawn in the office, you’re not a perfect employee!
Himmilicious
- Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job.
Anonymous
- Whether you’re scared of dying, or dying alone, or dying drunk in a ditch, don’t be. It’s going to be OK.
Michael Scott
- This is a dream that I’ve had…since lunch…and I’m not giving it up now.
Michael Scott
- I live by one rule: No office romances, no way. Very messy, inappropriate…no. But, I live by another rule: Just do it…Nike.
Michael Scott
- I used to be obese. Once you’ve conquered obesity, everything else is easy. Life literally moves in slow motion. I’m not saying I’m Superman, but let me just put it this way. If I were shot in the head, I’m pretty sure everything would be fine. I’d almost welcome it.
Deangelo Vickers
- The worst thing about prison was the dementors.
Michael Scott
- I’m not superstitious but I am a little stitious.
Michael Scott
- Everything I have I owe to this job… this stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job.
Jim Halpert
- I got six numbers. One more and it would have been a complete phone number.
Kevin Malone
- I’m glad Michael’s getting help. He has a lot of issues, and he’s stupid.
Phyllis Lapin-Vance
- I am Beyonce, always.
Michael Scott
- You guys I’m like really smart now. You don’t even know. You could ask me, Kelly what’s the biggest company in the world? And I’d be like, ‘blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah.’ Giving you the exact right answer.
Kelly Kapoor
- Mistletoe is not an excuse for sexual assault.
Andy Bernard
- Dwight mercy-killed Angela’s cat.
Pam Beesley
- If I don’t have some cake soon, I might die.
Stanley Hudson
- I normally don’t enjoy making people laugh.
Angela Martin
- I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.
Michael Scott
- Me think, why waste time say lot word, when few word do trick.
Kevin Malone
- There is no such thing as an appropriate joke, that’s why it’s a joke.
Ryan Howard
- It’s better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally, than by a stranger on purpose.
Dwight Schrute
- Holly is ruining Michael’s life. He thinks she is so special, and she’s so not. Her personality is like a 3. Her sense of humor is a 2. Her ears are like a 7 and a 4. Add it all up and what do you get? 16. And he treats her like she’s a perfect 40. It’s nuts.
Erin Hannon
- I think sometimes people are really mean to the hot, popular girl.
Kelly Kapoor
- Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.
Michael Scott
- Fortunately, my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man’s.
Dwight Schrute
- I had heard of offices feeling like prisons, but in this case our prison felt, rather anticlimactically, like an office.
William Ritter
- I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
Anonymous
- The first place smelled like work, so I took the second.
Charles Bukowski
- I talk a lot, so I learn to tune myself out.
Kelly Kapoor
- When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.
Dwight Schrute
- Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos.
Stanley Hudson
- Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.
Anonymous
- I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you?
Kelly Kapoor
- The Taliban is the worst. Great heroin though.
Creed Bratton
- You can tell if a person is organized by checking his desktop.
Ali AlJa’bari
- When he worked, he really worked. But when he played, he really PLAYED.
Dr. Seuss
- I’m not offended by homosexuality. In the sixties I made love to many, many women, often outdoors in the mud and the rain, and it’s possible that a man slipped in. There’d be no way of knowing.
Creed Bratton
- When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this was before I had even heard of one, or seen one. I just drew a picture of a horse, that could fly over rainbows, and a had a huge spike in its head. I was five! Five-years-old. Couldn’t even talk yet.
Michael Scott
- I have six roommates, which are better than friends because they have to give you one month’s notice before they leave.
Toby Flenderson
- Powerpoints are the peacocks of the business world: all show, no meat.
Dwight Schrute
- Maybe we weren’t right together, but it’s weird. I’d rather she be alone than with somebody. Is that love?
Ryan Howard
- Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order.
Michael Scott
Conclusion
Below is a collection of some of the funniest office quotes of all time. Reminisce the show while reading the best inspirational quotes of the show of all time. Share these quotes with die-hard Office fans and bring a smile to their faces.If we skipped any of the legendary quotes of The Office, feel free to share with us.